I certainly hope that you have gotten your copy of “Desperate- Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe.” Because for the next 7 weeks we are going to be studying it. Two chapters a week starting this week. So if you don't have it order it and join in and catch up. Please comment and join in the discussion. I have no clue how to do link ups so add your blog post link into the comments if you want to join in on your blog. So here goes.
I am going to be honest. I have cried reading this book, sighed with relief, and even gotten mad. So if you feel any of those- YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I love this book. I wish that I could put one into the hands of every mother that I know. It is a wonderful resource of encouragement and knowledge. That being said.
In the letters that start each chapter Sara Mae says “I am really struggling with being a mom today. I feel overwhelmed and underprepared.” (p2) I will honestly admit that I feel this way everyday. I stuggle a lot. I'm not saying that I feel unprepared everyday with everything but I have so many different stages in my house that it is definitely a learning process. At the beginning of the chapter Sarah Mae (SM) talks about how before she had children she had the ideal of a 1950's housewife in her head. And how she struggled to be that ideal. I have never had that ideal in my head. Maybe it comes being raised by a single mom with a dad rarely in the picture after elementary school and a divorce. My ideal was that I would be a working mom, with well mannered children, and a clean house. That is a laugh. I am now a stay at home mom after working or going to school for all of the last 12 and half years. My children are well mannered about 60% of the time and a clean house is just a dream. So in the overall sense I get how she feels and I feel the same way. I seriously lowered my ideal for myself after my 2nd child was born. I had to. And yet it still feels like I am sinking most days. Sally Clarkson (SC) goes on to talk about her shower guest's well meaning advice of “I feel I owe it to you to warn you about what is ahead” (p7). And I wanted to laugh because I wish now that someone had said that to me and followed with the truth. No one ever has. And I certainly have never said it to someone. (Although I will occasionally tell people to stop at 1 or 2, not to have more than that- in a joking manner of course). On page 9 SC says “This is the true beginning point- God. He is the one who created babies bursting with life and the mamas who love to care and watch over them.” What a reminder. Because most days I pray for God to give me the strength to keep going and to handle my children's multiple adventures. And I never think to thank him at the same time for creating these wonderful creatures and creating me to be their mother. He made my boys to be the hard headed, trying, strong willed children that they are. He made them so different yet so the same. He made me to make them. And when I read “Understanding that the best and most lasting “work” I would ever do was wrapped up in my call as a mother gave me a grand scope for my life such as I had never known before,” I just nodded my head. I also felt that clutching fear of failure. Which is why the first verse in “Your Turn” spoke straight to me.
Isaiah 41:10- “Do not fear, for I am with youl do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Matthew 11:28- “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.”
“Remember- a woman who is alone in motherhood becomes a target of discouragement for Satan.” (p12)
“I know I need friends and community, but when? How? I'm tired.” (SM p14)
This is the chapter where I sighed with relief saying “I am not alone!” I suffer from depression and feeling completely alone. I don't have a lot of time for me and community outside of the computer or my house. Let's face it- I am a stay at home mom who homeschools with a husband who works 2 jobs and shift work. There isn't a lot of time for “me”. I do try and do something by myself, away from the house about once a month but it doesn't always happen. But after sighing in relief I also found myself becoming angry. I need a mentor, an encourager. I don't really have one for this. I have judges- I have plenty of those. But not really anyone who encourages me as a mother. I crave one. I crave the community of that. Fortunately for me I am good at online friendships. I have several online friends who are in the same boat but it is just not the same as a face to face mentor. This is my struggle chapter. The one that made me a little angry and depressed for what I do not have. But I also realize that this is where we are lacking as moms and women. We need to step up and mentor others. We need to assert ourselves to find a mentor.
Ecc 4:9-12 says “Two are better than one because they have good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie doen together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.”
Titus 2:3-5 says “Older women likewise are to be reverent to their behavior, not malicious gossips, not enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subjects to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”
Next week we will discuss chapters 3 and 4. See you then!