Tuesday, February 5, 2013

God Sized Dreams- Fears

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This week's assignments is to write about our fears and the truths that are bigger then them. I thought that the timing of this question went perfectly with my teammate Ashley's Overcoming The Lie” project over at www.thestoryproject.com. Because sometimes our biggest fears stem from the lies that we are told about ourselves- either by others or by ourselves. She actually asked me a version of this question yesterday and I answered with the biggest fear I have right at this second. I am terrified that I am not a good mom and that I am going to fail. I constantly get compared to other moms that I know by my mother. You know the comments- “she spends more time playing with her kids”, “her house is spotless and she works full time”, and my favorite “she never does anything without her children there- you are too selfish”. Well let me tell you my response to those- That first mom has a husband that does not work shift work and she only has 2 kids who are very close in age along with someone who cleans her house 3 times a week. That second mom has one kid and also has someone come clean her house several times a week and her child is a teenager who can only make a mess in one room of the house. And my favorite response this week was about mom number 3- she goes to a ladies group meeting twice a month, shopping without her kids at least 4 times a month, an art class once a month, and she just got back from a week in Hawaii without her kids and next month she is going to Washington DC for a week without her kids and has a cruise and a ski trip planned for later this year all without her kids. So yes she is without her kids a lot. The last mom was brought up when I mentioned that I was going to the same art class. And it is also the same mom that I brought up later that same day when I mentioned that John and I may be going somewhere for our anniversary without any kids. I have learned that I am a good mom. And comparing me to another mom is not going to work. Because all moms are different. All families are different. Every mom has her faults and of course we let the best of us as a mom show to the public. So you know what I am not going to fail. I have a great love for my children and am instilling a love for God in them. So I know that I am not going to fail.

Another fear is that I am not doing enough in my dream and that I am failing God. I am aware that I have a lot on my plate and I am doing my best to not get it too full. I am keeping my commitments low for right now. I am writing short “notes” of encouragement to people who need it, I am writing on my blog on topics that I feel are important, I am trying to give it all to God for him to use me as he sees fit. So I know that as long as I remember that my dream is given by God and used for him I will not fail. I will have bad days but I will not fail in the end. Because really it is all his.

What are your fears? What is the truth that is bigger than your fear?

***I realized this past weekend that I am also a very laid back mom and the mom of 4 boys. My youngest was at a birthday party and the kids were all playing in the sister's room. My husband and I along with my cousin and her husband were all sitting in there with the kids. My child starts climbing down the ladder of the bunk beds with just socks on his feet and slips. He falls all the way down and lands face first on a pink barbie phone on the floor. He now has his first black eye. You can bet that my mom had a lot to say about it.

Linking up with Holley Gerth and the rest of the God Sized Dreams Team. 

4 comments:

  1. Lies and comparisons--so damaging, aren't they? I'm grateful we have the one and only you to enrich our group of dreamers!

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  2. They really are! Thank you for all your kind words!!!!!

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  3. Oh, girl, I have battled the lies too {and continue too}. Proud of your for fighting so bravely--we will keep doing that together!

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