Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Gaining Perspective

So I didn't sleep well last night. I had a nightmare that woke me up with a pain in my chest and an overwhelming fear like I have never known. There was an explosion and there was blood and my children were missing. After getting up and checking on all of my children and praying and finally falling back to sleep after about an hour the nightmare picked up where it left off. By the end of it all my children were found with one of them not making it. And I woke up devastated. And the perspective that was gained from that dream-  that life can change in an instant and that my children are worth more than gold. And I also remember one part of the dream where I looked at someone and said- "I was so mad at him for writing on that picture and now I am so grateful that he did so that it is always there, just a small piece of him still with me." Because that child that didn't make it is the one I fight with more than the others, the one who gives me the most stress and worry. And yet I can't imagine my life without him. And this morning as he sits next to me and I won't let him out of my sight, I hope and pray that he knows how much I love him and how proud he makes me through all of the aggravation that he causes. That no matter what happens he is priceless. All of them are. And at the end of a hard day where I am pulling out my hair I am truly blessed and grateful for these gifts that God has given me.

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