Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Communication in a Marriage

When I say communication what do you think of? I think of talking, texting, emailing, etc. All that is great but what if there is more to it? In "Worth The Fight", Kayse Pratt points out that even though you can talk to each other well, if you don't listen to each other you are not really communicating.

"Communication. It’s not just talking a lot. It’s both talking clearly and
listening well. It’s about grace and forgiveness and swallowing your need to be right."
 ~Kayse Pratt, "Worth the Fight"

John and I have to break a lot of the "good communication" rules in our marriage and text a lot. For 5 days of the month it is really the only way that we get to talk to each other. We make communication work for us however we can. But here's the thing about texting- you can't really tell what someone means by a text. There is no voice behind it or body language. So it is not the best form of communication. Same goes for email. But if that is your only option- take it! Use it. Don't stop talking.

Then there is always the fun arguments. (I use the word fun with a lot of sarcasm) It is so much better to have these in person. I can stay mad a lot longer when I'm not talking to John face to face. But just as soon as we are arguing in person it fizzles out because we just can't look at each other without smiling. 

We have also learned to listen to each other. I am one who can list things better in an email than in person because I just think better that way. But one thing that we have learned over the years, if it is a major decision or argument, letting me list everything in an email or a note means we can actually discuss each point better. 

Do what works for you. But never stop communicating. It is essential to your marriage. 

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