Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Saying Yes in My Mess

I am in the process of reading "Rhinestone Jesus" by Kristin Welch. The theme of the book is saying yes to God in the middle of your mess. Well let me just say that apparently I created a mess earlier this week by stating part of one reason (which I will admit I did not explain very well) why we recently changed churches. I realize that this is a public blog and there is a reason that I have not mentioned names of the church or the members. But I also realize that in order for me to say "yes in my mess", I have to work through some things that have happened over the past 13 years. Emotional and spiritual injuries caused by a church family that when you try to talk to them treat you like your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are not worth their time of day. The funny thing is that the ones who are starting the spreading of gossip and trying to put me down and sanction me now are the ones that have nothing to do with us leaving. So if you notice over the next few months that I start opening up more about hurts and issues within myself that started in the church please know it's because this is my safe space. This is where I pour my heart out and hope that by doing so I reach one other person over a lifetime who just needed to know that they were not alone.

And if I lose readers over the topic or I lose relationships with people who will not even speak to me in person about all of it but instead go behind my back or leave comments trying to publicly shame me- fine. I am prepared for that. Because over the last couple of months it has become very apparent who the people who really care are. 

So I am going to say "yes in my mess" and I am going to share and write and heal. Because I have a purpose and reason for being here. It is God's and he will show me where that will lead. I am done being shut down and ignored because of who I am. 

"If you have never stepped on any toes, then you have never taken a walk out into the world."


No comments:

Post a Comment