Saturday, September 8, 2018

And a year later.....

Well, it's been a year since I posted anything here. Life is still super busy and finding time for anything other than the basics is hard to do. There has been a lot of happenings in the past year. I discovered a whole new level of heart break and betrayal that I wish I did not have to know.

So Pacey will be 18 in 2 days. But he moved out and decided that he did not want me as his mother back in February. February 13th to be exact. I am far from a perfect mother but I went above and beyond for him and all my kids. Basically he got in trouble for the upteenth time and we decided this time he was going to face the consequences for his actions. To him this meant that we didn't love him and that we didn't care what happened to him. I could have handled this because I knew he would understand it eventually. Instead my mother stepped in and told him that he was right about everything he thought and informed us that he was no longer our child and that she was bailing him out of trouble. He has not been home since. He rarely talks to us and refuses to go anywhere with us.

I know that one day he will realize that I do love him and only want what's best for him. But the betrayal of my mother is more that I can take. People say that forgiveness is key and that it is the only option. Well, let's just say this was the straw that broke the camel's back. So I'm done. Which also means that my family has decided that I am in the wrong and I lost them too.

In other news, the other boys are doing great as are John and I. Calvin is marching with our local high school band and I love it! I am so happy he is a band geek and it brings back so many memories from my high school days.

In the past year we have spent multiple weekends fishing at the beach, deep sea fishing, shark fishing from the shore, scalloping, going to Disney on a field trip, and getting closer as a family. It's been an adventure and it has been a good one. There have been ups and more downs but I think that the lessons we are learning will make us all stronger in the end.

I think that one of the biggest lessons to come from these  past few months is that you never really know how much someone hates you until they find the opportunity to break you. You can either let them or you can take it and move on to another day and grow stronger from it. I am choosing the later.